nomad'z land

flew into salt lake city, home of my dear friend huevos’ alma mater, go utes! holy my cab driver was the worst ever once we reached the red butte gardens and ampitheatre or whatever the fuck. j had to summon a golf cart guy to search for me, chasing each other around like we were in the worst video game ever. oh well, first world problems, blah blah blah! left my big ol’ brace at home but had my knee sleeves wheeeee progress! if im ever injured again i solemnly vow to not spend a fraction of how much time i spent being crazy beastmaster status this run. i was just thinking about how much energy i wasted in one month. but i neeeeded to, you feel me. i live, i learn, insert alanis morissette lyrics here. i just couldnt help myself! okay anywayyyyy. so we had a little bitty ride through the gardens on a teskemobile which was just lovely. threw my shit in the dressing room then j and mike put on a show of two songs for the fans who had been waiting outside the venue for like way too long. i swear to god i mean this in the most not bitchy way possible, but is that necessary? dont they already have tickets? cant they just show up like 3 or 4 hours prior instead of 20? i really dont know how this works. im going to google it. or do they do it on the offchance that mike will come out and say what up. i am very interested in finding the answers.

next. got a little yoga in during soundcheck, then tagged along with mike leah and j to the hospital down the street where they went to play for a little girl with leukemia whos a huge fan and obvs couldnt make it to the show that night…………. i KNOW. how fucking sweet is that shit. why is my boyfriend literally and figuratively the nicest man in the fucking universe and how did he end up with such a sarcastic shit talking ass hole such as myself. balance, people, balance! that is what i tell myself anyway. well it must be working, cause he seems to find me funny and i dont find his super niceness annoying at ALL. it must have been loooove, etc. so they sang a few songs and it was just really sweet. dude. childrens hospitals are the fuckin bomb. i was wondering why the entire galaxy doesnt look like a childrens hospital, painted with bright colors and happiness. maybe thats why people do graffiti. enter cops aka the man trying to suppress our collective creative expression. fuck the police. okay tangent over i guess.

ummm what else. so im always hating on the bands groupies right, talkin about how i hate all of js fans who are over 16 and under 45 cause theyre probably dirty sluts (which by the way in defense of my ability to be mature is not entirely true). well finneeee universe i change my mind, although its situational. cause these three groupies were all about me like i was ben and jerrys with pickles and they were pregnant mamas with hormonal flareups like coronal mass ejections yeah i work in space physics so i use terms like coronal mass ejections in my metaphors what whattt. whatevs im stupid on fridays. anyway they were super sweet if not a tad lesbionic but arent we all. i did motorboat all of them i blame it on the effects of the unwritten road rule: drink. followed by: smoke weed. both preceded by: no number 2 on the bus! i think thats the first thing i was told when i first was accepted into the traveling circus as head bystander: dont shit on the fucking tour bus! only pee!! it makes sense. anyone whod argue with that is a dirty scumbag. anyhoo what else.. ummm yeah i got real stoned then fell asleep hardcore on the bus, poor j was uncomfy cause he was trying to not squish me and injure me further. which is why i always give him at least two hours in the morning of alone time in the bunk while i go wreak havoc on the dawn.

awoke in aspen, but had momentarily forgotten we were in aspen, so i looked out the window and said out loud as i yawned and wiped the sleep from my eyes “where the fuck are we?” to which bright cheery leah was like “aspen!” oh leah. i love leah, she is like a light in our lives with her salt watered waves and endless reserves of positive energy and yellow aura (just kidding i cant see auras… yet). so we went for what else but a wake n bake while i sang beauty and the beast cause aspen is basically like that, all bread and rolls to sell, every morning just the same since the morning that we came to this (very not) poor (very not) provincial town.

i believe j and mike had radio promo our first day in aspen. all i remember is it was in a kitchen and it was hot as bwalls. then we had dinner at matsuhisa which is da BOMB and also super expensivo im guessin. the owner michael is also the owner of the belly up which is where mfsh was playing that night. and his brother is the wrestler goldberg. holy flashbacks to wwf and all the filipinos in school being all over wrestling back in kid days. hilarz.

holy altitude be fuckin ma shit UP. didnt realize it but i was hurtin for a squirtin in need of oxygen style. luckily for me there was an oxygen machine at the venue in the dressing room and it. was. amazing. worked so well. unbelievable. how have i never done that before. im addicted to oxygen now.

okay im kind of over this post now.

anyway. so many cougars at the show. and the venue was so small but cozy not in a bad way. i had to watch from the soundboard thingy where bulby is which is where i got some dope pictures. i need to start selling my pictures the same way i sell my body on thursday nights and select sunday mornings, ha ha. lance armstrong was also there but who really cares. i suppose hes nice enough. for a liar. okay anYWAY.

the next day j worked with lynn goldsmith, photographer and artist extraordinaire. she and i are basically the same person, except shes 36 years older and white. but we talk the same kind of shit and i love it. anyhoo j is working on music with her, and i went to grab a bite and a drinky with bulby. then they had a little kiddie concert at aces on puppy smith road. how can i ever forget that name. puppy smith. im going to name my firstborn puppy smith. it will hate me so much but itll be soo cute for the first few years. blah blah went to a fundraiser for mike and saras new venture at owner michaels house which is pretty ridiculous. the amount of money some people have is just laughable.  ha ha ha ha ha see me laugh? laughable! k im so over it, ttfn!