nomad'z land

a weekend in canada eh! oh do you remember when snl was at its peak (ie cheri oteri, ana gasteyer, molly shannon etc) and ana gasteyer did this spot-on celine dion skit? that skit, though hilarz, made me so uncomfortable what with her mannish mannerisms and in your face canadianness eh. fortunately ive found that its pretty much just celine dion that is like that. i mean i dont know personally but im glad that canadians in real life arent as scary as represented by ana gasteyer’s impression. although i have only been as far east as saskatchewan so i cant speak for toronto or ontario or montreal (i think those are all east coast too lazy to google maps it) but i will be in toronto next saturday so ill let ya know! really all they do differently is say “eh?” or “hey?” at the end of sentences (which duh i did all freaking weekend) and “soory” instead of “sorry” but thats not as interesting or fun as the “eh/hey?”

k anywayz.

friday.

i got in to saskatoon late friday night and headed to the delta bessborough which looks like a castle and may or may not have actually been one (im guessing not). after trying to weasel my way into a room sounding like a real groupie slut (i had to check in to michaels room–no we did not have a sleepover, he was staying at saras–since j wasnt due in until saturday afternoon and also ask to switch over to js room in the morning–see i told you, groupie slut, i get around! not.), i got in to the room and watched dreamgirls cause well, i love beyonce even though she cant act worth a damn. no offense beyonce i love you youre the queen of life. oh, also love that its still light out until like 1030pm! wheeee i dont know why i love that so much. sun rises early as a mofo though which is where very thick drapes come in handy.

saturday.

woke up and chilled the fuck out, then sara and mike picked me up to head over to the farmers market for some grubadubs. i rode on the back of mikes bike side saddle holding on for dear life like a little koala bear. grubbed, rented some bikes, one for me, and one for j which mikey somehow got back to the hotel, it was very impressive. saw my loverbear!!!! lets see what did we do. i think we chilled for a sec then went to eat mexican with sara mikey and some other peepz. had some drinkies. fuck my memory. hmmmm. oh yeah im totally a bike riding biotch now. i dont like to go too fast though you know how it is. scary is how it is if you were wondering. oh okay i remember now. we watched a little bit of the free show for saskatoon jazz fest which is why we were in saskatoon in the first place. did the punjabi fist pump which yes sounds ridiculous. later saturday night we went to the bassment where we listened to jazz. ……………. oh jazz. so discordant. 10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb bag you know what im sayin! not all jazz but christ almight, its like schizo tourettes going on. also reminds me of the cosby show opening credits where bill cosby is dancing and makes his pudding pop face. so there is one redeeming quality cause who doesnt love bill cosby, i mean really. j and em went up for a little impromptu sesh then we went back to the hotel where i probably just passed out.

sunday.

woke up and biked to yoga in the park where i fell on my face and got a cool scratch near my left eye cause im an idiot. back to the farmers market to get me a pizza because you know when i have cravings they better be fulfilled or you wont hear the end of it and we will just end up hating each other. j then had soundcheck which i got to watch from our room since their show was set in the bess gardens which is in the hotel backyard essentially. moseyed on down to harass him then the band headed to the gazebo along the water down the river a bit for a little free jam session. i was on the shakers, yeah thats right, im in a band biotch. well not really. i just fake it til i make it which will be in… oh somewhere around never. started getting bitten by mosquitoes at this point so that was fun. headed back for nappy time before getting ready for the show! you bet your sweet ass i got a nap in. got ready while j got us food and took too long (not his fault, they take 17 minutes to make a cheeseburger, a fact which they conveniently didnt inform him of until after he ordered it) and by the time he came back i was all, why the fuck did you take so long im fucking hungry fool. (sorry boo i love you so much and thank you for my cheeseburger i love you). went to “preparty” in michaels suite which really was like babies r us. no joke, babies everywhere. j says its because they dont have shit else to do in the winter time besides bone. i guess. so thats the kind of prepartying that was going on. umm went on down to the stage area so j can set up shop. saw bug spray, didnt use it, big mistake. ended up putting some on like second to last song which was too late as evidenced by my now tumor-size bites. i hope im not dying, i dont feel sick but if i drop dead, well it was really nice knowing you all. so i always stay side stage during js shows because 1) i hate watching from the audience when i could be like 5 feet from j not to mention i am antisocial and dont like feeling stuck in crowds, 2) free beer backstage, 3) more free beer, 4) we do a lot of shittalking which makes the show even better. anyway my point was that since im next to js amps i can pretty much only hear js guitar, and boy does he sound soooo good!!!!!! i cant believe thats this fools job is to play the guitar hahahaha like whattttt. what an asshole. just kidding hes the best. anyway found a fun mustache which you can see a pic of down there. blah blah blah and im at work supposed to be a) working and b) writing a paper or c) reading for class tonight. but im exhausted and delirious and i need a drink and by drink i mean WATER only and probably some tacos. anyway thats all i got to say about that, eh! xo